Let’s face it – sex sells. Sex is everywhere, and everyone seems to want it. But for some people, sex doesn’t excite them at all. Do you feel the same way? Then you might be on the asexuality spectrum. Here’s everything you need to know about asexuality.
What does the term asexuality mean?
Asexuality is a form of sexuality in which there is no sexual attraction to another person. To date, about one percent of the world’s population describes itself as asexual (though the actual number is probably higher). Asexuality is not a choice that people make. This also distinguishes it from concepts like abstinence or celibacy. So now how can you know that you don’t feel a sexual need if, after all, it was never there in the first place? In this article, we’ll show you what signs might indicate that you’re asexual.
One important piece of info up front: asexuality is a spectrum, which means that not all of these signs will likely apply to you – so think of this article as an orientation rather than a diagnosis.
Which people are asexual?
An asexual person does not feel sexual attraction. That’s really all there is to it. Asexual people can be any gender, any age, any background, and any body type – they can be rich or poor, wear any style of clothing, and belong to any religion or political affiliation.
5 signs that you may be asexual
You have no interest in intimacy
Having no sexual attraction means you have no interest in any kind of sex. While there are some asexual people who enjoy sex, they are almost never the ones who initiate it. It can also be difficult for asexuals to get in the right mood – which is a stressor for many. Many people who are asexual also describe themselves as aromantic, which means they don’t experience romantic feelings either. Some people are also sexually averse or sex-averse, meaning they find sex and sexual acts unattractive. If this is the case for you: don’t worry. Not every relationship needs physical intimacy and not all people need a relationship to be happy and that is the case with asexuality.
Other sexual orientations don’t fit you so well
Bisexual, pansexual, homosexual, heterosexual … what do these orientations have in common? They are all types of sexual attraction. Asexuals often feel like they can’t relate to any of the sexualities, really. Some asexual people call themselves gay or lesbian anyway, but many keep their asexuality in the forefront.
You don’t feel like masturbating
Masturbation is a healthy form of self-care and can even have a positive effect on your health. But some asexuals just don’t like it. Since there is a lack of sexual attraction, this can also mean that there is no sexual attraction at all, and you simply have no interest in masturbation.
“You just haven’t found the right person yet!”
This is a sentence asexuals have to listen to quite often when they are single. While it’s usually well-intentioned, it can also be quite annoying – and, if you know the person’s sexual identity, even quite disrespectful. You may have found the love of your life but have no sexual desire or attraction to her, and that’s perfectly fine. No, the desire for (no) sex doesn’t usually change when asexuals fall in love with someone.
You feel like you can go the rest of your life without sex
For many people, this thought might sound crazy. But for asexual people, life wouldn’t change that much at all. There are tons of other ways to enjoy life, with or without a partner, and sex doesn’t have to be one of them. If that’s true for you, then you’re not weird or broken – it’s just not your thing. And that’s okay.
Sex? I’d rather eat cake! In online communities, you’re likely to see a layered cake in the colors of the Asexual Pride flag. The cake is a common symbol in the community – the meaning? It’s simple: a piece of cake sounds better than sex to you.